Tag Archives: book

Eating People

Have you ever looked at a guy in a non-sexual way and said, “I really want a piece of him in my mouth?” In the world of Aftermath, that’s not strange statement. Most of us aren’t seasoned forest rangers who can go into the woods with a butter knife and build a shopping mall. To survive you must rely on what you know. Meat = Food plain and simple.

Most people are going to have to live off the land to survive. That can actually be a death sentence in itself. There was a jingle to remember what berries in the woods were poisonous. “Green and sweet and good to eat” or was it “Red and sweet and good to eat” either way you can’t leave your survival up to a coin toss.

You use the same principles in cooking a steak that you would use when cooking a person. Overcooked is better than undercooked to guarantee you won’t get sick from raw meat. The creative part is how to do the actual cooking. Rotisserie style, skillet, barbeque grates, the goal is to have the cooking apparatus has to be raised up over the fire and not sitting directly on it. This is so you’re able to add more wood to keep the fire going.

It’s kill or be killed out there. You have to focus on your survival no matter what the cost. Eating a person doesn’t make you evil, it just makes you more in tune with how the world is run now. You must always remember that you must do whatever you have to if it ensures your survival, even eat someone.

Joe Reyes

 

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Aftermath Is Coming!

June 14th! Write it down people because that’s the day Aftermath will be released. I am incredibly excited about it and thank everyone for their support. I will update you all more in the upcoming days about events and book signings.

Joe Reyes

Recycling Plant Of Terror

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Public Worker hurls javelin into a crowd after boxes pile up

After hours of tireless work, Township worker Eric Johnson finally snapped and hurled a piece of scrap metal, like an Olympic Athlete, into unsuspecting townsfolks. The mental breakdown happened after the baler (machine designed to crush cardboard) was filled to the top.

Many people did not use the Recycling Center the previous day because of heavy snowfall. The day after, the workers had a bombardment of customers, most of them bringing mass loads of cardboard to be recycled.

On a typical day, the process of emptying out the baler takes as long as it takes the maintenance worker to come up to the Recycling Plant with the truck to take it.

“It is usually a quick process. The guy shows up within an hour or two and empties it,” said an unnamed Township Worker who witnessed the incident.

This particular day, the maintenance worker tasked with emptying out the baler wasn’t contacted due to downsizing caused by lowered taxes.

The boxes began to pile up and the Township Workers were forced to put all the boxes in a row. Within 3 short hours the row of boxes was 35 feet long and 6 feet high.

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Johnson finally screamed out in frustration “(Expletive) this!” Johnson then reached into a pile of metal scraps, pulled out a javelin shaped one and hurled it at townsfolks.

Thankfully nobody was severely hurt by the thrown javelin, but the fallout was massive. One woman, Olivia Smith, was pregnant at the time and was in the car as her husband was unloading materials. Smith was so startled by the event that her water broke 7 weeks prematurely and she went into massive labor right there in the car.

Another man, Roger Evans, jumped when he heard Johnson yell out. Evans was holding an industrial sized microwave at the time and slipped on a piece of black ice. The microwave landed on Evans’ groin area causing his testicles to obliterate almost instantaneously.

In an even more shocking twist, actor Christian Bale was there at the Recycling Plant dropping off a Christmas Tree. The onscreen tough guy broke down in a panic and pushed Selma Schmid, a 99-year old Holocaust survivor to the ground. Schmid immediately started having chest pains, went into cardiac arrest, and died on the spot.

Charges against Johnson are piling up and the entire Recycling Plant has been shut down pending an investigation. Also charges against Bale were brought up. Bale made slanderous comments about Jewish people in an interview with CNN recently and many speculate that this might’ve been a hate crime that can come off as coincidental.

Joe Reyes

 

One Of My Biggest Regrets

I don’t like to use the word “regret”, but I feel like it is appropriate for this story. In the mall there is a Japanese restaurant in the food court that has the best orange chicken and noodles I’ve ever had. This place has ruined me from having the same dish anywhere else because I know it won’t be as good.

I’ve been going there for about 4 years now. I had a job at a JC Penney in the same mall and used to eat there on my breaks every Sunday. Then my next job was at an Ashely Furniture right across the street from the mall, so my breaks consisted of the same meal.

I became such a regular that whenever I walked by, the Chinese workers at the counter would start preparing my dish. He would even give me more chicken and not charge me for it. If it was quiet, we would exchange some small talk and pleasantries.

Then one day it all ended. I took my girlfriend to the mall SPECIFICALLY to try out that special combination that pleasured my taste buds to no end. As we approached the food court I felt a great disturbance. There he was, that Philippian was being hauled away by a pair of men dressed in black overcoats. As he struggled to get free, our eyes locked. He screamed out “Joe Reyes!” and I reached out my hand and screamed “That Asian guy!” and that was the last I saw of him.

Actually, the story really was this; I took my girlfriend to the mall and the Japanese place was bought out by another company and under new management. But the Vietnamese man wasn’t there anymore. I assumed he owned the place and when he sold it he didn’t work there anymore.

That was the end of it. Simple, yet it was sad to me. 4 years of knowing someone, exchanging light conversation, yet I never knew his name. I don’t know why, but I really regret it. Maybe because the food there now is so horrific. Seriously, how do you screw up noodles? They were just plain noodles. And the chicken, don’t get me started on that. Okay I’ll tell you. It used to be big chunks full of life and Asian pride, now they are crispy and small. Almost like they were shrunken by being so overcooked.

So that’s my story. Doesn’t really sound like too big a deal, but I felt selfish after the place closed. The guy saw me as a regular, gave me extra food, asked me about my day, yet I didn’t even think to ask his name.

Joe Reyes

 

 

Conspiracy Files Disclaimer

The content written in the Aftermath Conspiracy Files are NOT the opinions and feeling of the author JOE REYES. These opinions are SOLELY those of the FICTIONAL character TRUTH and in no way reflect the OPINIONS and ACTIONS of the author JOE REYES. Just wanted to make sure I have my bases covered because the FICTIONAL character TRUTH will say some pretty controversial and borderline terrible things on the upcoming articles.

Joe Reyes